hard week

hey,here i am once again,complain about my life,this week maybe the hardest week ever,i almost lost someone i love,have problem with my family,my backbone still hurt,my heart almost lost a beat,shaming the family,make my girlfriend parents hurt,i don't know what to do right know,it feels like i don't wanna live,im so suffer,i feel like im usesless,everything i do i just make people i love get hurt and suffer,yeah i feel like emo guy right know,hopeless,suffer,unlove,misserablea and feel don't wanna live and wish u never be born,oh god is this punishment for me?if this ur punishment i understand,maybe u want me to be a better person,but i don't know i can be a man,im still boys,the world is black for me now, i can't see anything,maybe i was born to stay at dark corner,in don't know what i shoud i do, all i know is falling